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Zeppelin on the Brain
Sitemap Zeppelin On the Brain : See Also Quantum_Particles_Can_Do_Anything See Also Real Physics --- --- --- --- --- Letter to Herr Comstock : The Baron von Zeppelin hereby demands that you stop using the word 'Zeppelin' in reference to your ungainly and poorly designed flying vehicles. The Zeppelin company's fine products are the result of careful and dedicated design and superior German knowhow, and their proud name cannot '''IN ANY WAY' be allowed to refer to your cobbled together monstrocities.'' Cease and Desist or further strong action will be applied to you. ---- Combining wings with the Zeppelin shape - does not really work so well in real life. Lift isn't needed, flap surfaces in the middle of the airframe are ineffective (no leverage), a simple strut is good enough for holding the engines, but are good source of extra unwanted drag. Oversized cabin structure is too large for gas lift alone - thus Quantumz employed/required - so it ALL could have a simpler/more-compact/ more-utilitarian shape than this gas-bag-oriented design pattern. The People of Columbia (from the start) did not fly (nor did anyone who wasn't "crazy" in the publics mind in that era). So having these vehicles be a 'trusted'/conventional shape would make no sense/purpose. But Then (Logic in this game would probably be pointless) to wonder how early the 'float' stuff was made possible in smaller (Less-than--city-sized) things - this WHOLE cockamamie game Your common Steam Punk is very realistic compared to this Infinite BS tripe. story makes it all a fools errand. They have these weird looking things in the game simply because they didn't want to pay to fix the earlier-created game Assets. That's the biggest reason for this kind of nonsense. --- --- --- OMG OMG THEY HAVE ZEPPELINS IN THE GAME !!!! ITS SO COOL !!!!!! ''' ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- '''ZEPPELIN ON THE BRAIN ---- WHY does it have to look like a "Zeppelin" ?? BTW "Zeppelin" is a BRAND NAME of a particular manufacturing company in Germany (most of these type of craft WERENT 'Zeppelins'. So its basically a Buzzword (like "Quantum Physics"/ "Particles") to a majority of Players who really just want to Shoot and Blow up Things. Such absurd half-arsed technical nonsense doesn't bode well for a game allegedly at the same time touting/Hyping itself as "exposing Social Ills of another Era". (The F$%^ked up Religion weirdness was another stupid/ignorant/contrived aspect.) If they (the writers) were attempting to portray relevancy to 'American' anything, THEN IT DEFINITELY EARNS A FAIL --- --- --- ' "Zeppelin" ?? ' : These kind of vehicles are actually called "Lighter-Than-Air Ships" and "Dirigibles" (the real ones, NOT the bastardized quantum floaty-shit ones in the game). The "First Lady 1.0 was filled with Hydrogen" and did a 'Hindenburg' ''' (a story reference about a Vox attack ??) If so, that's a reference to something with '''REAL Lighter-Than-Air Ship technology being used IN COLUMBIA (likely an writer attempt to allude to that famous Disaster - which even the most deepest-basement dwelling Player would recognize). IF that earlier hydrogen-filled (realistic) appropriate-sized Airship HAD previously existed, THEN the game's "Aerodrome" would NOT have fit it (This is what happens when you have writers who don't cross reference game story details just toss things together). --- --- --- Technological Gap Making 'Zeppelins' : Super lightweight alloys are used for 'Zeppelins' - needed for those earlier pre-"Quantum Floaty Shit™" airships (they mention in the Infinite BS game). Even wood is too heavy for Lighter-Than-Air ships of any real size/capacity/capability). A modern rigid light-alloy skeleton is required for such a vehicle. Duralumin (Aluminium-95%, Copper-4%, Magnesium-0.5%, Manganese-0.5%) was used for REAL Zeppelins. Technology that didn't exist yet at Columbia's start. So yet one more material-type thing that Fink/Comstock/whoever would have to invent/obtain/produce to make it happen for the game's story. (( '' How many hundreds of other game story/plot things are like that ??? Tons of BS the shoveled to the Players. It would have been far simpler (less stupid-fantasy) if they had the Columbians/Comstock steal all that techno-crap through "Tears", instead of some BS about how they "made it all themselves" . '' )) --- --- --- Ideas/developments from the Future (stolen via Tears) unfortunately stopped at some of the most ungainly and clumsy aircraft ever built (and before their furthest development just before they were completely superseded by airplanes). Flash Gordon Futurism (minus the sparkely exhaust) would have been a far better advancement on the game's contraptions, which appear to have been designed by a committee of lobotomized idiots. ---- ---- ---- ^^^ Its not like there werent 1000 good photographs and diagrams to show them what REAL airships are SUPPOSED to Look Like !!! ' ---- Was it all the result of having early ideas shown in Trailers which REQUIRED continuation of an idea that was no longer logical ??? (the Trailers locked-in certain 'images' they couldn't throw out, but often then minimized from being of any importance : ie- interactions with Songbird replaced with canned cutscenes, or Elizabeth's UNIQUE Tears (player choice) having originally been planned as a much bigger part of the game experience. ) '"THEY LOOKED THAT WAY BECAUSE IT WAS WHAT PEOPLE KNEW/UNDERSTOOD AND TRUSTED ???? (Oh really ??? Was that the logic ??? Maybe the writers were mistakenly thinking about the 1930s, when Lighter-Than-Air Ships were still giving Heavier-Than-Air-Ships (Airplanes) some serious competition -- when they had actually matured far enough to be useful) ?? (Why didn't the 'Barges' also look like Zeppelins if it was a matter of people being scared of something new ? OOPS ...) Zeppelins/Lighter-than-Air ships were well know for their LACK of carrying capacity. When they were improved and actually used for commercial purposes, they were limited to Elite passengers, and mail, and mostly just flown for PRESTIGE -- as their reason for existing). Since 'Zeppelins' were an anachronism for 1893, and there (apparently) was this "'Tear' Looking into the Future" idea to explain all those other things in Columbia, then WHY NOT look far enuf to get something better for the Floaty vehicle stuff in Columbia ???? * With a 'Quantum BS' floating mechanism you needed no AIRBAG/FLOTATION CELLS any longer * That Big (vestigial) airbag actually makes moving the craft more inefficient and bothersomely complex and impractically oversized/costly and poor/unwieldy aerodynamically * Wings ? Who needs wings if you have "Floaty Shit™" to keep the vehicle in the air (artistic license could have justified something better looking, then) * Wooden interiors ? How 19th century ... SO these 'Zeppelins' were the primary transportation used to supply Columbia ??? (I laugh at THAT idea) That Unneeded large vehicle size does make them a Nice Big Fat Target for anyone on the ground to shoot at, No ? Covert operations is not a term that can be applied to these things (and certainly not for routine activity of obtaining/delivering hundreds of tons of supplies to Columbia every week). A TINY little capacity to supply a BIG city ? Oops. BUT Then the City sustenance was really magic "Manna" which flowed out of the Great Prophet's Ass ?? Stealing through 'Tears' MIGHT have been a good (and interesting) explanation to solve this issue, and many other things ((But I guess Kenny&Co were more busy perfecting the way the Skyhook weapon bloodily tore a NPC's head off ... )) ---- Hell, THIS looked more like A Zeppelin than those bizarre in-game things. ---- Hey, We coulda just had QUANTUMZ TELEPORTATION BOXES in COLUMBIA, and ditched all those pathetic/lame-assed looking transportation vehicles they came up with. (Sorry, NOT ENOUGH THINKING OUTSIDE OF THE ENVELOPE KENNYBOY ...) --- Around the time of the Columbian Exposition, THIS is the image people had (if they ever saw it) of what 'Lighter Than Air Craft were. SO Comstock has again tapped into yet ANOTHER universal genius scientist & engineer to bypass decades of effort to actually be able to build something that works ??? (Just one little side-issue : Fantasy - that of how there can be sudden/unrealistic ability to MAKE things that don't yet exist'ALL' the REQUIRED EXISTENCE OF : materials/knowledge/tools/skills/understandings/sources/entire technologies/technical abilities . That seems to happen in this game far too much (as in constantly, and illogically). AND worse --- continuing with the same writers-crutch sewage-spill-over into Rapture in BaSx ... employing a now CONVENIENTLY "Great Universal Genius" Dr Suchong. It IS such BS bad writing. ---- So In Summary : The game's Technical Details were shit (to go along similarly with the same kind of poor/fake/PC 'historic' and 'religion' and 'American' elements in creating this hack game presentation). It all was just a poorly done patched together facade to instill some kind of 'nostalgia view' (a key popular element of the 2 previous BioShock games). I really can't judge which element in Infinite BS was more Fantasy than the others -- all of which made it a poor reflection of the previous games, which at least attempted to be Science Fiction. Sequel-itus ... ( an attempt to cheaply Cash In on something previously successful, but most often being a poor/flawed/downright-faulty reflection/regurgitation/copy ). ALL Those High marks/scores/gradings from the various game mags : You need to take THAT with a grain of salt when those 'mags'/Websites get LOTS of advertising money from Infinite BS's parent game company (possibly explains WHY half the entire REAL budget went to 'Marketing', rather than to better game development). Independent Reviewers (who are NOT required to be commercially biased ass-lickers) had ALOT to say about the SIGNIFICANT deficiencies of Infinite BS (and its DLC follow-ons). ---- ---- More Clever Contraptions (Artists Concepts) : ''' ---- So was the game's 3D asset (at the very top) mostly a dumbed-down/simplified object (it now being just incidental to the plot/player experience ??) drawn so crudely to appease a limited 3D Rendering budget (they have to target players with as 'low end' computer/graphics capacity as possible to be able to maximize the $$$) Were Limitations of the "game engine" (third party software) they chose likewise problematic -- limiting it to an unrealistic Hummel Figurine quality detailed asset ??? Zeppelins gave Airplanes a run for their money in the early days, and so significant public interest in both was prevalent. Strange that this '''restaurant looks more airworthy than those weird-assed things the game designers came up with. Lakehurst Air Station and a REAL Lighter-Than-Air Ship. See how the landing area is circular to allow the Dirigible to land into the wind (where it had some control) to then be docked at its Mooring Tower. The Infinite BS game designers somehow thought you could park those 'Quantumz' floaty 'Zeppelins' into their dinky dock like a van pulling up next to a building. Clueless. The Problem with big voluminous things is : The wind blows them every which way, constantly. Walking the streets in Columbia in a storm would be bad enough. ((Sad factoid in game is the earlier/first "First Lady" "Zeppelin", being Hydrogen filled , and burning during a Vox Terrorist attack -- SEEMS to wanna link to Player known incidents like Hindenburg Disaster (BTW shouldn't The Prophet have foreseen the risk ??) Also, I though the Vox weren't violent at first ... (a serious need to cross check story there Kenny). Also A hydrogen filled one would be just like a real Dirigible (real BIG Gas Bag required if 'real') and needing a Aerodrome like this one to actually work.'' Having "Lady" Comstock climb a ladder to get into a moored dirigible probably wasn't 'ladylike'. Shouldn't they have had Floaty-Shit™ vehicles from the very first for Columbia (you would think they would thoroughly test it on SMALL things before a botched installation of a floaty city block fell-from-the-sky somewhere inconvenient and the whole project get canceled when the Lawyers got involved and the politicians abandoned the FUBAR fiasco).'' Custer Fluck of Absurdity - apparently the game designers WERE NOT ABLE to break out of their mental trap. They had Zeppelin on the Brain, and floated off into Infinite stupidity. Explained elsewhere : Why there was no reason anything that flew in Columbia had to look like a Dirigible, and many reasons why they shouldn't. ((In so many infinite parallel universes, it was done right and logical, but unfortunately OURs was not one of those.)) ---- NEED TO ADD THE BRICK ZEPPELIN (here and link from Humor) With all my commentaries about building brick flying cities and the weird impractical Dirigible vehicles (when you have FloatyShit™ to do something far niftier), I see no reason why they couldn't have built the 'zeppelins' out of Brick and Mortar. ---- . . . The Soviets seem to also have had Zeppelin on the Brain. This one is ridiculous because there isn't enough volume of that gas stuff which makes it 'Lighter-than-Air' (a rather strict physical law requirement). Instead all that overly heavy stuff is stuffed inside that nice aerodynamic shape ( shape being the thing the Infinte BS artists/designers never figured out as being the main attribute of EVERY DIRIGIBLE ever designed - even with their FloatyShit™ magic totally alleviating the need for a gasbag component (and keeping it anyway for some reason),and a need for it to have that overall shape to work properly as a traveling air vehicle. ) ---- Unfortunately for the Players, things seen in those Promotional Trailers (like this) would have been a much better game (but then you need to realize they couldn't have delivered it anyway. Too much talk, too little production) This thing looks Pre-Quantumz, with a reasonable looking mechanism --- even though the gasbag part of it is still 12X too small. But then, having realistic 'Zeppelins', they would dwarf much of Columbia, and the gamemakers wanted you to see all those pretty cloud draped vistas.) The stupid thing is : After they could make hunks of land and brick FLOAT via Quantumz, their vehicles STILL retained that gasbag element, when it obviously was then irrelevant. ((That's what happens when you show too much promotional footage and later can no longer discard the images you started out with after you rewrite the game story/plot the third time.)) Also compare the art/coloring on this pix, and compare with ones (top of page) used in the game. The creepy garish toy look came in which matched all the buildings and various other props of the delivered game. Consider that the long-distance vehicles for Infinite BS could have looked MORE like this, retaining the essence of a 'zeppelin' but becoming more modern looking to reflect those 'stolen technologies'. Aerodynamic/streamline like a REAL Zeppelin, not some throwback that was a clunky clumsy mutated mess. If they still wanted the porcelain toy figurine look and those awful optical effects, then gold plate the thing (like those ridiculously huge statues already were). Giant Flying Angels ?? How could they miss that ??? Just another diagram showing what a REAL dirigible/airship is, and its NOT being like that weird crap the game designers thought they were. If you no longer need the gasbag, why constrain yourself to still HAVING the gasbag?? At least in old Sci-Fi in the 30s the 'zeppelin' shaped craft used the entire shape for a hull (evidenced by windows all over), indicating THEY understood it was the streamlined SHAPE advantageous to an aircraft (versus Infinite BS who never got past the old mental limitations and were stuck on the pre-quantum-bullshit promotional images ). Add a little imagination (and research) and Viola, something that doesn't look instantly idiotic. Seriously wasnt part of the story stealing stuff from the future ??? Very sad that they got stuck on that image and had them be so badly done in the game. Real Zepplins are HUGE. And the buildings they are built in and repaired in are even HUGER!!! America built Zeppelins also (NOTE HOW HUGE THE HANGAR IS). As small as the 'zeppelins' were in Infinite BS, their hangars would still have been larger -- IF there were any to be seen. (Realism wasn't the point .... Oh then why all the handwringing over social ills ??? '' ) Real Zeppelins (like other flying craft) were streamlined. German WW1 Zeppelin. Zeppelin concepts being applied to Trains (in 30s) Just 20 years later... Doesnt look like a Zeppelin and BIG enuf to have an ARENA BATTLE in !!!! Hindenburg's lightweight construction - no quantum bullshit required. What a '''real' floating Columbia could have been built like (sorry no brick buildings). Unfortunately it required hanging under a Balloon the size of the Astro-Dome per city 'block'. ---- What these things COULD have looked like with a little real imaginations and less ignorance. Quantumz obviated the need for a gasbag and THE CLUMSY SHAPE AS IF IT STILL USED A GASBAG from flying craft. ---- AirshipInterior.jpg|Passenger area on the Hindenburg ZeppelinsReallyArtDeco.jpg|Zeppelin in Rapture ??? DONT YOU GO THERE !!! Streamlined-airship.jpg Zepzep.jpg|Real things just have a 'Real' look about them Eventhisferriswheelhasmorerealistic.jpg|Even this carnival Ferris wheel had more REALISTIC dirigibles than Infinite BS. TheFirstColumbia.jpg Realsheet.jpg Stillmorelikeazep.jpg SimpleDIRIGIBLE.jpg|Typical Airship shape Theysflyin.jpg Looksmorefuturistic.jpg|Early Dirigible Zepdiner.jpg|Zeppelins as a Cultural Phenomenon GrafII.jpg Expositionhall.jpg|1889 (but look at the size of that exposition hall) Realzeppelin.jpg|just before or at start of WW1 Airshipport.jpg|Numongus Facilities rquired (one reason airplanes succeeded them) Boardinganairship.jpg|Loading on a giant open field required to handle airships Mooring.jpg|Late Era Dirigible design (VERY Streamlined) Wholelottaguys.jpg|Huge ground crews were required Theysflyin.jpg| Graf Zeppelin - when just flying around the World was a BIG thing ... Zepstore.jpg|Airships were in the public consciousness 1894IdeaPoppedInto.jpg|1894 times 'Thought' about aerial activities Earlydirighangar.jpg|Early days. Redesign seems to require that dug out to fit bigger one MoreAzeppelin.jpg|Actually a 'recorder car' on a Railroad, but looks far more real than those weird 'artists' Zeppelin interiors FinksCattleSlaughteringMachine.jpg|Airship technology too decades to become mature (and in the end lost out to airplanes) --- --- --- 'Zeppelins NEED Masts/Hangars to "Moor" At ' : SO one of the problems of those horribly designed things in Infinite BS, even with a much smaller body (no gasbags being needed cuz of that magic FloatyShit™ Quantum BS) is that : Wind hits that big broad side and the whole thing wants to travel that direction now, with alot of force in strong wind. Half exposed then it wants to turn and rip itself to shreds on anything it brushes against. It even was (is) a problem with Ocean Liners (that huge flat side) at dock (wind can push the ship sideways, hence anchors being REALLY important). Unless this quantumz magic can also control the wind gusts, then what the game shows is unworkable and almost certainly a disaster waiting to happen (you don't have to be filled with flammable hydrogen to be a safety hazard). (( again - Dont Ever Let Artists Design Anything Your Life Depends On )) Imagine those weird anti-gravity/whatever 'zeppelins', the game artists contrived, swinging wildly into adjacent buildings -- even tearing loose their restraints in gusts/high winds (why do you think there were those HUGE airship hangars with doors that closed in the FRINKEN REAL WORLD ???) and destroying themselves very quickly. Too bad the game got stuck with those no-longer-logical zeppelins (too many promotionals showing them, too early), and didn't instead leverage the ACTUAL STORY'S Concept to have lots more modern things (all those OTHER things throughout the game supposedly seen/copied/mod'd from the future ...) Note -- that a 'Mast' is designed to moor the Airship and allows it to swing with the wind direction. More secure stationary mooring requires a huge protective hangar, with HUGE doors that close and keep winds out. "Half an Idea is the territory of the ignoramus and dim minds" - Blaise Pascal --- --- --- 'Beratement of Stupidity of Infinite BS 'Zeppelins' ' : The quite large ground crew being needed (Real World) to handle these monstrosities(not the flight crew - that took a somewhat smaller but even more well trained crew) -- just to land the thing (and tying them down and servicing them in the enormous facilities they required). THERE IS ACTUALLY A PARALLEL OF INEFFECTIVENESS/OVERBLOATED IMPRACTICALNESS BETWEEN THESE 'DIRIGIBLES' IN COLUMBIA WITH THE BATHYSPHERES IN RAPTURE ( The Aussie Devs at least made THOSE AE Trains in BS2 ) --- --- --- The game's earlier Steam Punk theme mutated into FloatyShit™ Quantum whatever. I suppose the game company had already done the (already abominable) game assets as 'Zeppelins', and didn't care enuf to change them to something better-fitting the new Fantasy game theme (like this picture). THIS imagined thing obviously uses something else to lift itself (those umbrella-like things), and isn't encumbered by a bloated/cumbersome balloon shape any longer. --- --- --- --- . .